I don’t want to address this multiple times, so I’m just going to get it out of the way now. Sorry Twins fans. Taking the responsibility of writing this blog certainly comes with challenges along the way. Like writing about a team which lost 99 games last year. However, it’s my duty as the MLB Super Fan to maintain a certain level of off-season optimism about each team entering the season. Even if the team just so happens to lose the player who had team highs in batting average, homeruns, and runs scored the previous season.
Before we get into why the Twins may need to start “Farving” (see below for a proper definition), we need to ask WHAT HAPPENNED? How do you go from having 94 wins in the 2010 season, to having 99 loses in the 2011 season; from winning the division by a comfortable 6 games; to placing 8 games behind the “ROYALS, with nothing but cheese”, and behind the division leading Jungle Cats by an atrocious 32 games? The simple answer to this question: Joe “of all trades” Mauer.
When this behemoth plays an entire season, not only does he post team and division leading numbers at the plate and for his position, he ignites the rest of his “Mauer powered” teammates, who suddenly become the hardest working production assistants in the league. Twins fans would give up all 45 of the Minnesota Wild’s league leading points in the NHL, to have a twin of Mauer gleefully pitching to himself. In all honesty, they probably would just be content if he played the entire season. I’m sure Justin Morneau would. And for Twins fans sake, I hope he does, because I’m not sure how else they are going to be powered this season.
So far on the Twins burner of the hot stove this off season, there’s been a lot of give and no take. A few NL teams have been taste testing in their small skillet and the Twins haven’t added anything to spice their entrée up. Their dismal 63-99 season last year was faintly spearheaded by the Rockies latest acquisition, Michael “Goodbyer”. In addition, their home-run king pin Jim Thome rekindles an old relationship in the City of Brotherly Love. All the while, Twins fans are stuck in a fantasy world trying to clone their only super “Mauer” power.
The Twins need to start making moves if they want to be relevant this season. Joe can only power the skillet for so long. Start by focusing on spicing up the skillet with some sweet tasting pitching. Maybe some new pitching and a full season by Mauer, might give Twins fans the opportunity to watch their team get swept by the Yanks in the ALDS again.
Farving (verb): The act of inquiring for a retired, crafty, "shouldn't be in the league anymore" veteran to come out of retirement and rejuvenate your downtrodden team.
Josh Willingham is an excellent step in the right direction. Look for the Twins to bounce back big this year.
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